Hello beautiful and welcome to Lamina’s Thoughts. I’m not from here…. per say I’m David Cromwell from Thoughts of Cromwell (but you probably noticed that since I’m way cooler than precious). I’m here to round up the topic of “Toxic relationships”. Precious has already told you how to know you’re in one and I’m here to give you the escape route from such relationships. It’s not news that anything tagged as “Toxic” is bad for you – like obviously! But no worries, I understand, relationships involve commitment, mental and emotional energy, time, and much more, so leaving them can be really hard but I’m here to help with that. Here’s how to leave that toxic relationship:
Have a talk with yourself
This is the first and probably the most crucial step needed to leave a toxic relationship and it involves convincing the most important person that its time to move and that’s… You. An important thing you’ll need for this talk is a little before and after, let me explain. Analyze who you were before the relationship, your outlook on life, your ambitions, your disposition to life, analyze yourself completely before the relationship and now do an after check. You could make a comparison on a piece of paper and if it is a toxic relationship, you would probably notice that you have changed for the worse. From there, all you need is to remind yourself that you have only one life and there’s no point in wasting this one. Just do this to reaffirm your stance and beef up your mental strength to take this step. Another thing to realize is to know that things can’t get worse from here, so freedom is the beginning of better things.
Now on to the next step:
Have “The Talk”
Yeah, its time for the jump. You’re probably wondering “Why so early?” After all, you just convinced yourself, so why the rush? Well, here’s why – “You are smart”. We are all really smart when it comes to getting out of uncomfortable situations, so the more time you take on decisions like these, the more convincing your reasons become not to make them. So, when you have convinced yourself that its time to move, have the talk soonest, so the excuse generator isn’t given the chance to get running.
So, what does “The Talk” comprise of? Simple, your talk with yourself. Let your partner know how much the relationship has been detrimental to you and how things would be better without it. Warning! Things might get messy and you might feel like backing out but don’t, freedom is within arm’s reach, just keep going.
A little tip that could help is letting your partner know how the relationship has been detrimental to them also. Time to let you know something about toxic relationships – It’s a two-way thing, just as it has hindered you, in some way, it has hindered your partner also, you just feel your end more because…. You’re you (I know that sounds funny, but really you are you). So, finding the hindrances to your partner and stating them in “The Talk” would do a great deal.
That’s pretty much all you need. I know some might be thinking “Shouldn’t I talk to my friends or family about it?”, Well, I say you can, but you should probably not. It’s because at the end of the day it’s your decision, your friends and family see your relationship from a perspective, some might only see the good, while others might see the not-so-good, only you get to see every part (only you and God that is, but you get my point). Besides, if your friends are anything like mine, you would probably end up more confused than when you started, my friends would probably say something like “Guy, you should leave, you don’t really look happy anymore… but you guys are quite cute together though… Maybe you should stay… See, it’s your decision, do what’s best for you.” Imagine the level of confusion I’d have after this, so I advise to just skip it and do you.
That’s a wrap, I hope you were able to gain something from this post and it helped you in any way possible. If you need to talk more, just use the comment section and we can talk it out. If you want to read more from me (cause I’m cooler than precious), just click here.
Have a wonderful day.